Friday, July 5, 2013

How do you Make Relationships Work?

In today's modern thinking, everything is done in a wink of an eye and everybody gets everything they wanted soonest. Relationships though don't work overnight and there is no such thing as happily ever after. Since both of you are two different individuals with different points of view, chances are, there will always be agreements and disagreements. But How do You make things work when the going gets tough?

I myself is not an expert and I must admit that a year after marriage is not enough to make one say that you already know a lot about relationships and marriage but here are a few things I've learned from the seminars that we have attended, church sermons, personal experiences and advice from elder folks that I'd like to share with you.

Make God the center of your relationship - As two of you make your journey in life together, there are ups, downs and challenges that make you want to give up. If both of you would cling onto God and onto each other, everything will be easier to bear. God will never leave you when trials and challenges come and He never allows things to happen that you could not overcome.

Relationships should start with a solid foundation - honestly, I don't believe in love at first sight because love is developed over time. Relationships done through overnight courtship still has a long way to go. In the many couples I know, most started with friendship that has eventually grown to become love. This is because you get to know the person inside-out and there is no pretending. Like what I tell everyone, husband and I had a background of  worst-foot forward because we were good friends before courtship started. Honesty and trust is one of the basic foundations of a strong relationship as a relationship full of pretending and lies will lead to nowhere.

Listen to your parents' advice - a lot of children take for granted what their parents tell them especially when it comes to relationships. The next time they tell you something, open your ears and your heart, they see things on a different level and they are very much concerned of your future and who you'll end up with.

Let your ears work first before your mouth - everyone is guilty in this part and I'm not an exception. in any disagreement, it is best to LISTEN first before we react or speak. Harsh words and accusations may develop to grudge and hatred in the future. And please don't forget that when your spouse/partner has wronged you, correct them lovingly, attack the wrong deed and never their character. 

Taking it to the next level and getting married? What are your Individual Roles then?

Ephesians 5:23 says "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior."
Husbands should lead their wife and the whole family as well. Why is this so? It's because husbands should take responsibility of the whole family - this does not mean though that husbands are the masters and wives are the servant. One can never be a leader when one do not know how to serve. In Philippians 2:7 it said "but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. Leaders are not made overnight so unless one is a good servant to his family, he can never be a good leader.

Last but not the least, is written in Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" Husbands should love their wives unconditionally and must be willing to give up his own life for her just as Christ did for the church.

Ephesians 5:22 says  "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord." This may seem unreasonable during our modern day where almost all women seek for equality, but please do note that this is a different angle we are talking about. Submitting to one's husband doesn't mean that you are inferior to him but rather wives submit to aid the husband in fulfilling his responsibilities. We are also helpers to our spouses as it was written in Genesis 2:18 "And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

I do hope that somehow we are able to enlighten you on these things. Let us remember that marriage is a covenant made with God and what He has joined together, man cannot separate - hence the term "Til death do us part." I'll try to check my notes so that I could share with you more things on relationships.

Have a blessed weekend ahead! 

cross photo taken from

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Jamaica said...

The best information so far that I read today about relationship. It should be something
that is to be nurtured and cared for. I will give this blog an A+ rating for the best information. Please keep posting.